Really bummed out =/

Christopher Chavez

Free Bird Player
Nov 11, 2019
Short summary at the end, please read it, thank you! =)
I hope this doesn’t turn out to be too long but I just feel pretty bumed out about this and I didn’t know where to express this but I’m putting it here since this is a pretty cool forum and I think maybe someone could possibly relate as well.
Anyways, heres the story:
I’m 15, and I turn 16 in September. I have 2 years of guitar under my belt, and I really want to start playing with other people. Problem is, it’s nearly impossible for me. I have guitar class, and people only recently started to take note of who I am and it’s really all because of the guitar. I carry my own amp and guitar monday into the band room so I can use it through the week and take it back home friday. I try not to be loud and obnoxious and people actually like and want to listen to me play. They come into my small isolated room where I just play by myself and they ask if they can just chill out in the room. They don’t even talk to me, they just sit on the floor and listen. Weird but it’s ok. I wouldn’t say I’m an amazing guitarist, but I am pretty okay(?) Feel free to check out my instagram in my bio if you’d like, I have a few clips of me playing. But anyways, this isn’t about my ability to play guitar.
I know that I am not the only musician at school. There’s around 2 or 3 other good guitarists, 1 bassist that is okay, 1 good drummer, and no vocalist.
I’ve known the drummer for a long time, but he already has a 3 person band he plays with people from another school and says that he doesn’t need me. He says that I’d just be too much of a hassle.. =(.
Anyways, I really want to play music and this drummer played with 2 other guitarists last year for the talent show a slayer cover and I wanted to see if they’d be down to start a band (one of the guitarists already knows drums so-so and the drummer wants to be vocalist.) We try it out, get the bassist involved, and start playing with eachother in the MPR/Auditorium during lunch (nobody really uses it so it’s ok.) and we play pretty good.
I want this band to become something original, but the guitarists didn’t really feel like doint that. They just wanted to play Slayer covers. So the drummer left, and our vocalist became the drummer again. We had to find a guy to be vocals from another school. And guess what? We’re pretty goddamn good! Except… we haven’t begun writing anything yet. I come up with riffs, but the bassist has a hard time trying to play along or remember his parts, and the guitarist doesn’t even show up anymore. Vocalist only comes once a week on fridays after school. We have no way of everyone sitting down and talking about music.
Today, the bassist told me he wanted out. He has football practice and doesn’t want to give it up. The guitaist doesn’t even want to play anything besides Slayer, and the drummer just wants to play and write for his other band and the vocalist doesn’t really do much at all. We already went through 3 different members in a span of a month… We decided we were gonna do Blind by Korn for the talent show and I really wanted to do this show and many more, at least in our highschool years. But that doesn’t look like it’ll be happening at all.
Long story short, nobody wants to be in a band with me and I’m left alone with nobody who wants to play with me and I am hopeless in my musical journey. I tried my best to form a band but it all fell apart in a month. It doesn’t look like I have much of a chance of getting my name out there, even if it is just high school. This all just leaves me incredibly sad and I don’t know what to do. I’m pretty discouraged to even keep playing since what’s the point? Nobody wants to play with me. I’m not giving up just yet though.
Thank you if you bothered to read this, even if you just read the last paragraph. Just needed to get my emotions out there, you know?
Have an amazing day! =)

Calvin Phillips

Music Theory Bragger
Nov 11, 2019
Tough finding people. I’ve had people tell me they will get back to me and never hear from them again. Here’s my advice. Buy a cheap bass. Used one. Record it yourself for now. Someone will eventually come. The drummer is the most important member imo. Good luck!

Ed Seith

Supreme Galactic Overlord
Staff member
  • Nov 11, 2019
    Marana, AZ USA
    Don’t give up hope, but also be open to other options. If everyone else in the band just wants to play covers, then stick with that for a few months, get a few covers really solid, and then start suggesting writing. Learn how to gel together and have fun before you get into writing your own stuff.
    It’s not giving up or giving in – it’s compromising for the longer-term good.
    I went searching for my first band in over 20 years last year. I wound up getting a call for a Stone Temple Pilots cover band. I was NEVER an STP fan. I knew some of the radio hits to listen to, and they were decent, but nothing about them ever blew me away. It turned out to be a great experience and I learned a lot about how STP writes songs, and how the guitarist really likes to experiment with fucked up chords and make them sound good.
    In short, it wasn’t what I really WANTED, but it was something that, in retrospect, I really needed. Maybe you need to be open to other ideas and get some experience under your belt – develop a reputation – before you can put your foot down and say “this is what I wanna do. Are you with me?”
    Just food for thought. You’re young. Get the experience. Have fun. Learn how bands work internally, and how the members typically interact and behave, and then you’ll be better at putting together your own project to explore your vision.
    Good luck!

    Firsty Lasty

    New Student
    Nov 11, 2019
    I guess it’s my night to feel old lol. At your age life hasn’t even really begun yet. You’re already good enough that I’m sure you’ll be able to find the right musicians to play with in the future. Tbh it’s a huge risk to invest effort and emotion into working with people with don’t have the same desires or goals as you do. Going your own way and writing music by yourself isn’t as fun as being in a good band, but it will help you find other musicians in the future.
    The thing about drums and bass is you can cheat. There’s nothing wrong with creating your own backing tracks of drums and bass and playing/singing along with it. This isn’t something limited to the EDM world; right now one of my favorite rock bands (Cyhra) doesn’t use a real bassist. When their former bassist left they simply didn’t replace him.
    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    Dominik Gräber

    Hot Topic Tourer
  • Nov 11, 2019
    Wow, Not really much to add to These awesome comments.
    Just wanted to mention parts of your Story really reminded me of a Video a rewatched Just today!

    Who knows, you may be the next James 😉 maybe Just start slow. I can’t Imagine how people can just Form a Band and get started when they barely know each Other or have experience with playing with one another.
    But If you want it and keep searching it will Come!


    PhD in GunsN'Roseology
    Nov 11, 2019
    Be patient my friend! You are young and your musical journey has just begun, I agree with the guys above; a big part of being in a band is learning to deal with all kinds of personalities and making compromises so everyone feels comfortable in the project. As @Firsty Lasty said, it is a big risk to invest time and emotion into people that don’t share your vision. So you are better off to wait for the right people who SHARE YOUR VISION to show up in your life and not force things. (A band is like a relationship in every way… ahh! flashbacks!)
    This won’t be the last time that you face challenges or setbacks either, there will be plenty more along the road, but the key is to not give up. Don’t give up playing the guitar! You can’t find other players? Forget them! As you grow and evolve personally and musically you will find your way, there are SO MANY creative options out there that you can experiment with and so many people yet to meet. This is only the beginning. Good luck!

    Hiroshi Nakauye

    Free Bird Player
    Nov 11, 2019
    I wouldn’t focus too much on the negative. Look at it as a learning opportunity. Find a free drum program and work on your own material. There are a ton of amazing artists who do everything themselves.
    Misha mansoor of periphery did a lot of early demos with drum programming. the first animals as leaders album used programmed drums, I think misha produced this album. a bunch of meshuggah albums use programmed drums. Anup sastry does it the other way around and records the drums live but programs the guitars. Sithu aye self produces all of his albums.
    If you sit in a funk it could lead you down a bad path. But if you try and do the other things yourself not only will you get better at guitar. but you will become familiar with drumming, mixing g, playing bass, mastering and a bunch of other skills. Then later on when you have a band and if problems arise you will not be reliant upon them to produce material.

    This reply was modified 5 months, 3 weeks ago by  Hiroshi Nakauye.


    Christopher Chavez

    Free Bird Player
    Nov 11, 2019
    Thank you to all who responded with positivity. Me and the drummer are still trying to work something out, but it will all be postponed until we can find other people who are serious and play songs made by people other than slayer (that gets boring really fast). In the mean time, I will continue to learn and develop my guitar skills from this amazing school filled with amazing people like all of you. Blessed to be part of this community. Much love and happy mothers day! =)