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I'm William

William B.

Hot Topic Tourer
  • Nov 11, 2019
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    *Don't quote me please*

    I'm 35, I joined before the site opened and got a mental breakdown right after and couldn't play for 2 straight years. I got my ass beat for no reason by my wannabe gangster neighbor and had to flee my house because the gangs and threats. No friends or family besides my mom and sisters. my nose is crooked now and my breathing is messed up, they attacked me because i'm alone and wanted street credit. I don't even know them i keep to myself. the dutch laws allow criminal behavior, but i live by california law i should live the street law
    I'm from Anaheim and been living in the Netherlands since April 28, 2008, my mom kicked me out the country again, living in California is Expensive, I can't earn enough money to live on my own without diplomas. I'm a piece of shit and a loser. My dad wanted to learn guitar before he died, I was 14 and he was 36 when he passed. Most of my family is dead, my dad's side is cockasian american and mom's is indonesian. people hate on me all my life ever since i was 10 people want to fight me or whatever, had to make myself look like a fool to get bye. my dad's guitar hero was EVH, i didn't get into playing guitar till i was 20. my family is from compton/norwalk LA area, i played guitar to stay out of trouble, i got kicked out of all my schools, only graduated from elementary school. I speak and write fluent Dutch, i don't like it here at all, i can't afford to go back , so it's like jail somewhat i can only go as far as my bike, i lived near an elm street briefly,
    i want to be like chad somewhat
    my hope is to be avenged sevenfold
     
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    Mariler

    Local Dive Bar Favorite
    Nov 11, 2019
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    Hey William, just to let you know you’ve got some friends here. You’re definitely not alone at all, even when a dark mood might make you feel like that. We’re here for you, to listen to you.
    Life can be a bitch but this family really cares for you.
    You are a valuable member of this community, you share, you offer your help, it’s nice to have you around
     
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    Chris Johnston

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
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    Hey man, it sounds like you're having a pretty dark day. Just know that everyone on here has, is or at some point will feel like they're worthless or don't matter - you're never alone. The truth is that your brain is lying to you when you think this - I get it a lot too. The main thing to take away from all of your hardships is that you've came through them, nobody else - you. Maybe with trauma, but also with experience and lessons that make you a wiser and tougher human being. The fact that you're on this site hitting the grind all the time is living proof of that. Just keep grinding and sharing.

    Life might feel shit right now but it can change in an instant for the better - just keep being yourself and doing things that make you happy and you'll wake up one day and realize all that horrible stuff in the past is long gone and never coming back 🤟


    Hope you're good brother x
     

    ari.mac

    Hot Topic Tourer
    Contest Winner!
  • Jul 16, 2020
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    Hey William,
    Just wanted you to know you are not alone in this. We are here for you always, but I really hope and strongly suggest getting professional help. It is absolutely not something to be ashamed of and you will feel better much sooner then you would while dealing with this on your own. We are your friends and we are here to support you.
    Also, be kind to yourself, better times will come 😊
     
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    Synner Endless Summer Collection

    William B.

    Hot Topic Tourer
  • Nov 11, 2019
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    I just read through all the comments better here, thanks a lot, I had a lot of chats today, I let out a lot of steam for sure. I had to kick myself in the ass again, to stop thinking and doing. Thanks for all the support, I wasn't sure how to introduce myself, seeing as I've been here nearly 6 months or so. Cya around