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Break-up(sorry, nothing about guitars)

Alicia Willis

Moderator
Staff member
Legend+
  • Nov 11, 2019
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    First off…I’m sorry you’re going through this.
    But…yes, I’ve been there myself. I’ve taken it as a time of self reflection for what I want in life and in a partner. Just because t there was a rejection or breakup it isn’t the world. We as humans are very complex creatures. Find out who you are and what you what out of life and you’ll be golden. A rejection doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it just means the match wasn’t right…and that’s okay. 😊
     
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    Ed Seith

    Supreme Galactic Overlord
    Staff member
    Legend+
  • Nov 11, 2019
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    soundcloud.com
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    Way too many times to count, including having an engagement broken off.

    Feel it. All of it. Be miserable for a bit. But learn from it.

    Better things on the horizon. There are a LOT of potential partners out there. Dating, especially when you're young, is all about finding what you like and don't like in a partner, so that when it comes time to settle down you (think you) know what you want.

    You're only going to get it right once. Unless they die on you, then maybe twice? You can get it wrong unlimited times, like breadsticks at Olive Garden. And almost ALL the people you date are doing the exact same thing.

    It sucks, and it hurts and for sensitive dudes, the hurting and the missing is often 1.5x the length of the relationship (if that's true, I'll be fucked if my 21 year marriage ends - I'm sure there's a limit. Probably?)

    You'll be okay. I promise. Even though it sucks balls right now. Don't let it break you.
     
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    JANIRU

    Music Theory Bragger
    Jul 12, 2021
    24
    29
    18
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    First off…I’m sorry you’re going through this.
    But…yes, I’ve been there myself. I’ve taken it as a time of self reflection for what I want in life and in a partner. Just because t there was a rejection or breakup it isn’t the world. We as humans are very complex creatures. Find out who you are and what you what out of life and you’ll be golden. A rejection doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you, it just means the match wasn’t right…and that’s okay. 😊
    Thanks so much Alicia. I've never been through Something like this, it's was a confusion over me thinking my best friend loves me and me realizing just how much I've loved her. And then her telling me she doesn't think of me like this. I know i shouldn't be sad but it hurts so much. Thank u sooo much for sharing ur experience and advise.
     
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    JANIRU

    Music Theory Bragger
    Jul 12, 2021
    24
    29
    18
    3
    Way too many times to count, including having an engagement broken off.

    Feel it. All of it. Be miserable for a bit. But learn from it.

    Better things on the horizon. There are a LOT of potential partners out there. Dating, especially when you're young, is all about finding what you like and don't like in a partner, so that when it comes time to settle down you (think you) know what you want.

    You're only going to get it right once. Unless they die on you, then maybe twice? You can get it wrong unlimited times, like breadsticks at Olive Garden. And almost ALL the people you date are doing the exact same thing.

    It sucks, and it hurts and for sensitive dudes, the hurting and the missing is often 1.5x the length of the relationship (if that's true, I'll be fucked if my 21 year marriage ends - I'm sure there's a limit. Probably?)

    You'll be okay. I promise. Even though it sucks balls right now. Don't let it break you.
    Well i am young as fuck compared to u. Just 19😭😭😭. Thank u soo much for this reply. I LITERALLY FELT SO MUCH JOY after reading this. Joyful moments ate really prescious to me right now. Thak u so much for taking the time to write such a long reply. And thanks for ur humour too😂😂. I try my best not o let it break me. I try to focus in my studies. Was hard, but getting back to where i was.
     
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    Chris Johnston

    Music Theory Bragger
  • Nov 11, 2019
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    I don't know if I'm even allow to ask this here,
    But guys, has any of u been thru a breakup? Or rejection?
    How'd you deal with it?
    Hey Janiru, I'm really sorry to hear about your breakup! - you'll know already that nothing anyone can say will really change how you feel right now - and that's absolutely normal, but hopefully something you read on here can ensure you that you're at least not alone.

    I suffered a really bad breakup in my late teens (after 2 years long distance, seeing eachother in person/waiting months to see eachother again etc) and it really really shook me to my core - definitely one of the darkest times I've been through - I drank ALOT, Cried ALOT, dropped out of Music College and couldnt even stick out jobs due to crazy anxiety.

    It was however, the best thing that ever happened to me - this is where my advice comes in 😊

    The thing that lifted me out of my heartbreak eventually was immersing myself in the things that I was passionate about - writing music - and surrounding myself with friends. It wasn't a magic formula - I was still hurting - but every day, a bit less.

    Somewhere along the line the penny dropped:
    A breakup is a opportunity. It's an opportunity to build a new relationship with *yourself* - your time is your own, you answer to nobody - you get to rebuild however you see fit. I realised it and it still hurt, but there was a clarity there.

    So I kept writing which lead me to playing solo gigs, meeting the singer of my old band, meeting my now Fiance and getting my dream teaching job - all off of the back of just delving completely into my craft to get out of that place.

    So my advice is to feel what you need to feel - unapologetically - and try your best to find things that interest you, fascinate you, to immerse yourself in - to momentarily take you out of that place of hurt and into a place where you can feel purpose and happiness. The things that will grow out of doing that will start to change everything 😊

    Look forward and keep going. I promise you are 100% stronger than you feel 👌

    We're also always here on the school - you can DM me anytime you need to chat/unload 😊

    I really hope your okay and hope this helps, hopefully that wasnt too much of a ramble! x
     
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    JakAngelescu

    Stairway to Heaven Tab Studier
    Aug 12, 2022
    68
    1
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    You're more than welcome to post all type of personal stuff here. We all are a big family.

    My whole life has been nothing but rejection. Never had a real boyfriend at all and I'm 35. The thing of it is, is that you learn to swallow the pain, grow from it, and move on.

    As you get older, you learn valuable life lessons along the way. But it's a part of what makes life beautiful in my opinion. You'll be okay, my friend. You'll heal 🙏
     
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